Celine dion calling her new album Taking Chances? That's like a Zac Efron musical called Making Cops Shit Their Pants, or a Lil Wayne mix tape titled Bumming Bus Fare From My Mom. Celine's shtick is as safe a bet as there is in the music biz, coming a mere six months after her last album, the Canadian chart-topper D'Elles. Alas, her cat-strangling whine is still a remarkably ugly sound, no matter what she's singing. The days are gone when she had her pick of material, ruining perfectly nice pop-trash ballads from Diane Warren or Jim Steinman — no songs here by either of them, and Linda Perry's "New Dawn" is a Nineties leftover. She interprets Ne-Yo ("I Got Nothin' Left") and the Dream ("Skies of L.A.") with awful results. She goes back to Eighties schlockmeister Aldo Nova for "Can't Fight This Feelin'," which is unfortunately not an REO Speedwagon cover. But that's nothing compared to Dion shrieking the ten millionth version of Heart's "Alone" (mad pitchy, dog!), produced by ex-Evanescence guitarist Ben Moody — Amy Lee, meet the fugliest bullet you ever dodged.

Tags: celine dion, taking chances